THE TALE OF THE PIE AND

THE PATTY-PAN

BY

BEATRIX POTTER

Author of

"The Tale of Peter Rabbit," &c.

Pussy-cat sits by the fire how should she be fair?

In walks the little dog says "Pussy are you there?

How do you do Mistress Pussy? Mistress Pussy, how do you do?"

"I thank you kindly, little dog. I fare as wel as you!"

Old Rhyme.

FREDERICK WARNE

Once upon a time there was a Pussy-cat cal ed Ribby, who invited a little dog cal ed

Duchess, to tea.

"Come in good time, my dear Duchess," said Ribby's letter, "and we wil have something so

very nice. I am baking it in a pie-dish a pie-dish with a pink rim. You never tasted anything

so good! And you shal eat it al ! I wil eat muffins, my dear Duchess!" wrote Ribby.

Duchess read the letter and wrote an answer: "I wil come with much pleasure at a quarter

past four. But it is very strange. I was just going to invite you to come here, to supper, my

dear Ribby, to eat something most delicious.

"I wil come very punctual y, my dear Ribby," wrote Duchess; and then at the end she

added "I hope it isn't mouse?"

And then she thought that did not look quite polite; so she scratched out "isn't mouse" and

changed it to "I hope it wil be fine," and she gave her letter to the postman.

But she thought a great deal about Ribby's pie, and she read Ribby's letter over and over

again.

"I am dreadful y afraid it wil be mouse!" said Duchess to herself "I real y couldn't, couldn't eat mouse pie. And I shal have to eat it, because it is a party. And my pie was going to be

veal and ham. A pink and white pie-dish! and so is mine; just like Ribby's dishes; they were

both bought at Tabitha Twitchit's."

Duchess went into her larder and took the pie off a shelf and looked at it.

"It is al ready to put into the oven. Such lovely pie-crust; and I put in a little tin patty-pan to

hold up the crust; and I made a hole in the middle with a fork to let out the steam Oh I do

wish I could eat my own pie, instead of a pie made of mouse!"

Duchess considered and considered and read Ribby's letter again

"A pink and white pie-dish and you shal eat it al . 'You' means me then Ribby is not going

to even taste the pie herself? A pink and white pie-dish! Ribby is sure to go out to buy the

muffins.... Oh what a good idea! Why shouldn't I rush along and put my pie into Ribby's

oven when Ribby isn't there?"

Duchess was quite delighted with her own cleverness!

Ribby in the meantime had received Duchess's answer, and as soon as she was sure that

the little dog could come she popped her pie into the oven. There were two ovens, one

above the other; some other knobs and handles were only ornamental and not intended to

open. Ribby put the pie into the lower oven; the door was very stiff.

"The top oven bakes too quickly," said Ribby to herself. "It is a pie of the most delicate and

tender mouse minced up with bacon. And I have taken out al the bones; because Duchess

did nearly choke herself with a fish-bone last time I gave a party. She eats a little

fast rather big mouthfuls. But a most genteel and elegant little dog; infinitely superior

company to Cousin Tabitha Twitchit."

Ribby put on some coal and swept up the hearth. Then she went out with a can to the wel ,

for water to fil up the kettle.

Then she began to set the room in order, for it was the sitting-room as wel as the kitchen.

She shook the mats out at the front-door and put them straight; the hearthrug was a rabbit-

skin. She dusted the clock and the ornaments on the mantelpiece, and she polished and

rubbed the tables and chairs.

Then she spread a very clean white table-cloth, and set out her best china tea-set, which

she took out of a wal -cupboard near the fireplace. The tea-cups were white with a pattern

of pink roses; and the dinner-plates were white and blue.

When Ribby had laid the table she took a jug and a blue and white dish, and went out down

the field to the farm, to fetch milk and butter.

When she came back, she peeped into the bottom oven; the pie looked very comfortable.

Ribby put on her shawl and bonnet and went out again with a basket, to the vil age shop to

buy a packet of tea, a pound of lump sugar, and a pot of marmalade.

And just at the same time, Duchess came out of her house, at the other end of the vil age.

Ribby met Duchess half-way down the street, also carrying a basket, covered with a cloth.

They only bowed to one another; they did not speak, because they were going to have a

party.

As soon as Duchess had got round the corner out of sight she simply ran! Straight away to

Ribby's house!

Ribby went into the shop and bought what she required, and came out, after a pleasant

gossip with Cousin Tabitha Twitchit.

Cousin Tabitha was disdainful afterwards in conversation

"A little dog indeed! Just as if there were no CATS in Sawrey! And a pie for afternoon tea!

The very idea!" said Cousin Tabitha Twitchit.

Ribby went on to Timothy Baker's and bought the muffins. Then she went home.

There seemed to be a sort of scuffling noise in the back passage, as she was coming in at

the front door.

"I trust that is not that Pie: the spoons are locked up, however," said Ribby.

But there was nobody there. Ribby opened the bottom oven door with some difficulty, and

turned the pie. There began to be a pleasing smel of baked mouse!

Duchess in the meantime, had slipped out at the back door.

"It is a very odd thing that Ribby's pie was not in the oven when I put mine in! And I can't

find it anywhere; I have looked al over the house. I put my pie into a nice hot oven at the

top. I could not turn any of the other handles; I think that they are al shams," said Duchess,

"but I wish I could have removed the pie made of mouse! I cannot think what she has done

with it? I heard Ribby coming and I had to run out by the back door!"

Duchess went home and brushed her beautiful black coat; and then she picked a bunch of

flowers in her garden as a present for Ribby; and passed the time until the clock struck four.

Ribby having assured herself by careful search that there was real y no one hiding in the

cupboard or in the larder went upstairs to change her dress.

She put on a lilac silk gown, for the party, and an embroidered muslin apron and tippet.

"It is very strange," said Ribby, "I did not think I left that drawer pul ed out; has somebody

been trying on my mittens?"

She came downstairs again, and made the tea, and put the teapot on the hob. She peeped

again into the bottom oven, the pie had become a lovely brown, and it was steaming hot.

She sat down before the fire to wait for the little dog. "I am glad I used the bottom oven,"

said Ribby, "the top one would certainly have been very much too hot. I wonder why that

cupboard door was open? Can there real y have been someone in the house?"

Very punctual y at four o'clock, Duchess started to go to the party. She ran so fast through

the vil age that she was too early, and she had to wait a little while in the lane that leads

down to Ribby's house.

"I wonder if Ribby has taken my pie out of the oven yet?" said Duchess, "and whatever can

have become of the other pie made of mouse?"

At a quarter past four to the minute, there came a most genteel little tap-tappity. "Is Mrs.

Ribston at home?" inquired Duchess in the porch.

"Come in! and how do you do, my dear Duchess?" cried Ribby. "I hope I see you wel ?"

"Quite wel , I thank you, and how do you do, my dear Ribby?" said Duchess. "I've brought

you some flowers; what a delicious smel of pie!"

"Oh, what lovely flowers! Yes, it is mouse and bacon!"

"Do not talk about food, my dear Ribby," said Duchess; "what a lovely white tea-cloth!... Is it

done to a turn? Is it stil in the oven?"

"I think it wants another five minutes," said Ribby. "Just a shade longer; I wil pour out the

tea, while we wait. Do you take sugar, my dear Duchess?"

"Oh yes, please! my dear Ribby; and may I have a lump upon my nose?"

"With pleasure, my dear Duchess; how beautiful y you beg! Oh, how sweetly pretty!"

Duchess sat up with the sugar on her nose and sniffed

"How good that pie smel s! I do love veal and ham I mean to say mouse and bacon "

She dropped the sugar in confusion, and had to go hunting under the tea-table, so did not

see which oven Ribby opened in order to get out the pie.

Ribby set the pie upon the table; there was a very savoury smel .

Duchess came out from under the table-cloth munching sugar, and sat up on a chair.

"I wil first cut the pie for you; I am going to have muffin and marmalade," said Ribby.

"Do you real y prefer muffin? Mind the patty-pan!"

"I beg your pardon?" said Ribby.

"May I pass you the marmalade?" said Duchess hurriedly.

The pie proved extremely toothsome, and the muffins light and hot. They disappeared

rapidly, especial y the pie!

"I think" (thought the Duchess to herself) "I think it would be wiser if I helped myself to

pie; though Ribby did not seem to notice anything when she was cutting it. What very smal

fine pieces it has cooked into! I did not remember that I had minced it up so fine; I suppose

this is a quicker oven than my own."

"How fast Duchess is eating!" thought Ribby to herself, as she buttered her fifth muffin.

The pie-dish was emptying rapidly! Duchess had had four helps already, and was fumbling

with the spoon. "A little more bacon, my dear Duchess?" said Ribby.

"Thank you, my dear Ribby; I was only feeling for the patty-pan."

"The patty-pan? my dear Duchess?"

"The patty-pan that held up the pie-crust," said Duchess, blushing under her black coat.

"Oh, I didn't put one in, my dear Duchess," said Ribby; "I don't think that it is necessary in

pies made of mouse."

Duchess fumbled with the spoon "I can't find it!" she said anxiously.

"There isn't a patty-pan," said Ribby, looking perplexed.

"Yes, indeed, my dear Ribby; where can it have gone to?" said Duchess.

"There most certainly is not one, my dear Duchess. I disapprove of tin articles in puddings

and pies. It is most undesirable (especial y when people swal ow in lumps!)" she added in

a lower voice.

Duchess looked very much alarmed, and continued to scoop the inside of the pie-dish.

"My Great-aunt Squintina (grandmother of Cousin Tabitha Twitchit) died of a thimble in a

Christmas plum-pudding. I never put any article of metal in my puddings or pies."

Duchess looked aghast, and tilted up the pie-dish.

"I have only four patty-pans, and they are al in the cupboard."

Duchess set up a howl.

"I shal die! I shal die! I have swal owed a patty-pan! Oh, my dear Ribby, I do feel so il !"

"It is impossible, my dear Duchess; there was not a patty-pan."

Duchess moaned and whined and rocked herself about.

"Oh I feel so dreadful, I have swal owed a patty-pan!"

"There was nothing in the pie," said Ribby severely.

"Yes there was, my dear Ribby, I am sure I have swal owed it!"

"Let me prop you up with a pil ow, my dear Duchess; where do you think you feel it?"

"Oh I do feel so il al over me, my dear Ribby; I have swal owed a large tin patty-pan with a

sharp scal oped edge!"

"Shal I run for the doctor? I wil just lock up the spoons!"

"Oh yes, yes! fetch Dr. Maggotty, my dear Ribby: he is a Pie himself, he wil certainly

understand."

Ribby settled Duchess in an armchair before the fire, and went out and hurried to the vil age

to look for the doctor.

She found him at the smithy.

He was occupied in putting rusty nails into a bottle of ink, which he had obtained at the post

office.

"Gammon? ha! HA!" said he, with his head on one side.

Ribby explained that her guest had swal owed a patty-pan.

"Spinach? ha! HA!" said he, and accompanied her with alacrity.

He hopped so fast that Ribby had to run. It was most conspicuous. Al the vil age could see

that Ribby was fetching the doctor.

"I knew they would over-eat themselves!" said Cousin Tabitha Twitchit.

But while Ribby had been hunting for the doctor a curious thing had happened to

Duchess, who had been left by herself, sitting before the fire, sighing and groaning and

feeling very unhappy.

"How could I have swal owed it! such a large thing as a patty-pan!"

She got up and went to the table, and felt inside the pie-dish again with a spoon.

"No; there is no patty-pan, and I put one in; and nobody has eaten pie except me, so I must

have swal owed it!"

She sat down again, and stared mournful y at the grate. The fire crackled and danced, and

something sizz-z-zled!

Duchess started! She opened the door of the top oven; out came a rich steamy flavour of

veal and ham, and there stood a fine brown pie, and through a hole in the top of the pie-

crust there was a glimpse of a little tin patty-pan!

Duchess drew a long breath

"Then I must have been eating MOUSE!... No wonder I feel il .... But perhaps I should feel

worse if I had real y swal owed a patty-pan!" Duchess reflected "What a very awkward

thing to have to explain to Ribby! I think I wil put my pie in the back-yard and say nothing

about it. When I go home, I wil run round and take it away." She put it outside the back-

door, and sat down again by the fire, and shut her eyes; when Ribby arrived with the doctor,

she seemed fast asleep.

"Gammon, ha, HA?" said the doctor.

"I am feeling very much better," said Duchess, waking up with a jump.

"I am truly glad to hear it! He has brought you a pil , my dear Duchess!"

"I think I should feel quite wel if he only felt my pulse," said Duchess, backing away from

the magpie, who sidled up with something in his beak.

"It is only a bread pil , you had much better take it; drink a little milk, my dear Duchess!"

"Gammon? Gammon?" said the doctor, while Duchess coughed and choked.

"Don't say that again!" said Ribby, losing her temper "Here, take this bread and jam, and

get out into the yard!"

"Gammon and Spinach! ha ha HA!" shouted Dr. Maggotty triumphantly outside the back

door.

"I am feeling very much better my dear Ribby," said Duchess. "Do you not think that I had

better go home before it gets dark?"

"Perhaps it might be wise, my dear Duchess. I wil lend you a nice warm shawl, and you

shal take my arm."

"I would not trouble you for worlds; I feel wonderful y better. One pil of Dr. Maggotty "

"Indeed it is most admirable, if it has cured you of a patty-pan! I wil cal directly after

breakfast to ask how you have slept."

Ribby and Duchess said goodbye affectionately, and Duchess started home. Half-way up

the lane she stopped and looked back; Ribby had gone in and shut her door. Duchess

slipped through the fence, and ran round to the back of Ribby's house, and peeped into the

yard.

Upon the roof of the pig-stye sat Dr. Maggotty and three jackdaws. The jackdaws were

eating pie-crust, and the magpie was drinking gravy out of a patty-pan.

"Gammon, ha, HA!" he shouted when he saw Duchess's little black nose peeping round the

corner.

Duchess ran home feeling uncommonly sil y!

When Ribby came out for a pailful of water to wash up the tea-things, she found a pink and

white pie-dish lying smashed in the middle of the yard. The patty-pan was under the pump,

where Dr. Maggotty had considerately left it.

Ribby stared with amazement "Did you ever see the like! so there real y was a patty-

pan?... But my patty-pans are al in the kitchen cupboard. Wel I never did!... Next time I

want to give a party I wil invite Cousin Tabitha Twitchit!"